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Lost Highway
Lost Highway is a really weird movie. I mean this movie is weirder than waking up in a burned down corn field covered in deer blood. It's weirder than pissing on underage girls as if your name was R. Kelly. Seriously, this movie is fucking odd. Plot Okay, since this movie is so fucked up I'm just gonna explain the events as they happen. First we start out with Bill Pullman, an actor famous for his amazing acting (not), and he is like "yo whats dat buzza" and he clicks and it he hears a voice say "dick laurent is dead" and he is like omg scurry!!!! So he looks out the window and only hears faint police sirens. So then Fred goes to play the Sexaphone at some stupid club, I mean, who goes to a fucking club to see some douche play the saxaphone??? Anyways, he calls his wife and she doesn't pick up. He gets home and sees she is asleep and he is like YO BITCH WHERE YOU BEEN!?!?!?! and she is like man i've been here all night and he is like yo i love you baby lets fuck, so they fuck. Then he sees his wifes face as a fucking old man (cuz he digs that shit) and he is like FUUUUUUUUUUUCK NAW. So the next day this package shows up, they open the package and there is a tape inside. They watch the tape and it's nothing but a recording of their house. Fred's dumbass wife is just like "HURRR IT MUST B A VIDYA FRUM OUT REEL A STATE AGENT". So the next day another shows up and it's the same video but it has more added to it, an overhead view of their living room and them sleeping. Shit's getting weird at this point, right? Well it's about to get even weirder. So they call the kopz and they send two detectives out to their house. They look around and ask if they keep any video cameras in their house, Fred is like "No, I like to remember things my own way, nawmsayin". This is gonna be important later, alright? So the detectives leave and they go to some party at this faggot called Andy's house. Fred meets this ugly mother fucker who tells him they have met before and Fred is like LOLK WERE @ DAWG??? and he is like "at your house, of course!" so he pulls out a totes 90s cellular device and is like "call me maybe" so Fred calls him and he picks up!!!!!!!!!!! and he is like "thats fucking crazy man" so they make out and then the creepy guy walks away. The next day another video shows up the next day. It's the same video as the last time, except there is another scene added. A grisly murder scene taking place in their bedroom, a scene that looks like Fred has murdered his wife. So then Fred gets arrested for murder and sentenced to death. So he is like "o gad mah hed hurtz plz halp plz halp gaurd!!!! :(". The next day during a routine check of cells an officer finds something weird in Fred's cell. Fred is gone, nowhere to be seen, replaced by a 24 year old man, Pete Dayton. So his parents come pick him up and then he goes and hangs out with his stupid friends and his dumb girlfriend. They're at some bowling alley that has a fucking night club in the back (weird, right?) and he is slow dancing with his girlfriend and she is all like "pete u been akten werd l8ly wat rong" and he is just like idk. So the next day he goes back to work at some car repair place run by Richard Pryor and then Mr. Eddie shows up and is like HEY PETE LETS TAKE A RRRRIDE. So they take a ride together, Pete tunes the car, Mr. Eddie roughs up a motorist and they go back to the shop. Mr. Eddie is like cya pete!!!!!! and he is like OK MR EDDIE. So that night he picks up his dumb girlfriend and fucks her and stuff, you see her tits, it's ok. The next day at Arnie's Mr. Eddie shows up once again, telling him that he will be back for his caddy later tonight or tomorrow and Pete is like, yo mr eddie this shit will be done tonight, real talk. Mr. Eddie is like ight i feel ya and then walks away. Okay, here is where things start getting weird again. Pete looks over at Mr. Eddie's car and sees a woman who he is immediately attracted to, however, this woman looks identical to Fred's wife! Crazy, huh? Oh, and it plays this cool Lou Reed song while he is getting a boner over her. Later that night, this woman shows back up at the shop asking to use the phone, Pete introduces himself and she is like sup niqqa im alice ;) so then she is like yo my nigga lets go get some dinner i really just want ur dik tho!!!! and he is like lolok :0. So they go to this hotel and fuck, you see some titties again, it's pretty nice. Pete and Alice keep fucking over and over again. Pete's girlfriend finds out and is like "omg we r ovr srry gurby bewsay i wont boter ur famly agin ;( ;(". So Pete and Alice fuck some more and then Pete finds out Alice was a hooker/pornstar or something and fucked Mr. Eddie a lot. Mr. Eddie threatens to kill anybody who messes with Alice and Pete is like coool. So Alice is like "hey, i know this guy name andy he's got mad staxx we can bust tha fukk outta here" so she fucks Andy and Pete accidentally kills him. Alice is like "hey ik this guy who can get us passports we gotta go to the dessert tho". So they go to this abandoned cabin out in the sticks, which turns out to be a cabin that was seen in a dream earlier (forgot to mention that, sorry!). The guy is nowhere to be seen so Pete and Alice fuck again. Pete is all like I WANT U I WANT U I WANT U and Alice just goes "you'll never have me" Suddenly, Pete is gone and Fred is back. Yeah, weird, I know. So Fred goes into the cabin and there is that fucking freak guy from the party. He is like WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!!?!?!?!? and starts chasing his ass with a camera. So Fred bails and head's down to a hotel called The Lost Highway Hotel. Mr. Eddie (AKA Dick Laurent) and Renee (Fred's wife) are fucking in another room. Fred goes into the room after Renee leaves and kidnaps Mr. Eddie and puts him in the trunk of his car, while being watched by that creepy mystery guy. Fred goes out into the desert to kill Dick and when he opens the trunk, Dick jumps out and starts to strangle him!!! But the creepy faggot man hands Fred and knife and he slits Dick's throat. So the mystery faggot shows up and hands Dick a portable TV of him and Renee fucking or something and then shoots him in the head, whispers something to Fred and is never seen again. Fred heads back to LA to his house, he walks up to the door and buzzes the intercom, when it answers he says "Dick Laurent is dead." (see, didn't I tell you to remember that!?) So the cops chase Fred and down the lost highway and he has a Michael J. Fox episode of seizures and then the movie ends. No, it doesn't make any sense. It's not supposed to. What it's really about Ok, Fred kills his wife and her lover, however he is in such deep denial that he doesnt believe it. So he creates some paradise in his mind, where he is Pete, a hot young stud who gets all dat puxxxxxxy, but it slowly starts to fall apart and he comes to terms with what he does and dies in the electric chair. Or something like that, idk. Critical reception everybody was confused Trivia robert loggia cused out david lynch once and thats where the highway scene comes from Lou Reed Category:Movies Category:Movies about me Category:Movies about carlton Category:Movies from the 90s Category:Weed Category:Dank Category:Dro Category:Heads Category:Buddha Category:Quesadilla tray with corndog and season fries with coke to drink Category:Quesadilla tray with corndog and season fires with coke to drink Category:Tits Category:Sex Category:Lots of sex Category:Gary busey Category:Egyptian Pharoahs Category:Lou reed Category:Drunk sex Category:I Want More Badges Category:Give me badges Category:Filmz